It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
