so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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