My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
