RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
