His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
