I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
