Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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