I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
