Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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