she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i out mim tonsoeep
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