I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
