She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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