i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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