I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
