Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
