she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
