Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
