I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
