when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize