:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
