It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
