you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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