problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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