Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
