I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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