I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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