I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My ass is underappreciated
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
