The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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