He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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