So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
