really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
