my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
The best revenge is premature balding
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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