then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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