I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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