Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
