Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
