So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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