I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
