Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
