you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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