I puked a lego.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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