I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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