imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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