i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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