omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
