Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
