you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Houston, we have a blender
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
