He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
