'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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