I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
