WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
