Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
