9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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