drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize