i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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