I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We need to get me chipped asap
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
