I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize