You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
