Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
