don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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