shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize