I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize