i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
