found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
