chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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